Anyone Willing to Give Me Feedback on My Novel?

[Alesia_BH]

Hey there, hi there, everyone! As some of you may have noticed I haven’t been playing BG recently. I’ve been working on something else. It’s a comedic novel. I just finished the first chapter.

It’s still in the rough draft stage, but things are looking good so far. My friends have enjoyed what they’ve read to date. I’ve also run a few ChatGPT analyses on my opening. Those results have been encouraging. The most recent evaluation, following completion of Chapter 1, gave it a 9/10 and compared it to works by Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, Terry Pratchett and Tom Robbins. The evaluation ended with the phrase “the potential for greatness is there.” That’s good I guess, although I don’t entirely trust the judgement of a machine.

Anyhoo, I’m now looking to broaden the circle of readers and it occurred to me that some of you here, who have been reading my BG runs, might be interested. Anyone game?

Oh, and btw, the title is The Church of Disco: Life Lessons from an Alternate Universe

Cheers,

A.

 

[m7600]

Sounds really nice, @Alesia_BH. I'm intrigued by the title. I'm writing a work of fiction myself, though it's not a novel. It's a collection of fictional documents, and I let the reader imagine what the story might be.

For what it's worth, I'd be willing to give you some feedback on your project. Mine's called "The Independence of Antarctica". The basic premise is that in the near future, Antarctica declares its independence from the rest of the world.

 

[Alesia_BH]

Yay! I’d be willing to read your work in exchange, if you’d like. Sounds fascinating.

I’m comfortable sharing comments here if, say, other people join in on the read party. I don’t love the idea of posting my pages on the forum, though. PM me and we can come up with a way to exchange.

Best,

A.

 

[m7600]

Why not both? We can bounce some ideas publicly in this thread and privately through PM. I'd love some feedback on my protect, both publicly and privately.

So the book I'm writing is, so far, a collection of fictional documents, as I said earlier. In particular, the book has two parts: Declarations of Independence, and Constitutions. I'd like a third section for maps, but that might be too much.

 

[O_Bruce]

I don't think I am competent enough to give you some meaningful feedback. Sorry.

 

[m7600]

I don't think I am competent enough to give you some meaningful feedback. Sorry.

I don't know about @Alesia_BH, but I'll listen to any feedback that you have for my project. Even if it's from the point of view of common sense, or of personal preferences. For example, would you buy a 200 page book about the futuristic Independence of Antarctica? If not, would you at least read it if it was a free PDF? If not, would you at least play a tabletop RPG set in that sort of setting? Etc.

 

[O_Bruce]

First question, then, @m7600 . Are you making a book or tabletop RPG system? And what kind of book, if it is a book? There's a difference between reading descriptions and rules for a setting and reading a novel, for instance. The former seems like a chore for me, the other can be a good time.

 

[m7600]

First question, then, @m7600 . Are you making a book or tabletop RPG system?

The former. For now it's just a book. For the RPG I'll use an existing system, as far as the mechanics go. The lore will be original, obviously.

And what kind of book, if it is a book?

It's a work of speculative fiction, particularly in the soft science fiction genre. By that I mean science fiction which fictionalizes the soft sciences (i.e., geography, history, etc.) instead of the hard sciences (i.e., physics, biology, etc.)

There's a difference between reading descriptions and rules for a setting and reading a novel, for instance.

Yeah, there are no characters (i.e., there are no heroes nor villains), so it's not a novel. It's closer to a setting rulebook.

 

[Alesia_BH]

I don't think I am competent enough to give you some meaningful feedback. Sorry.

It’s good to hear from you, O_Bruce!

If you like books, then you’re qualified. I have friends who are writers reading it. I want readers reading it too. If you enjoy books by the authors I mentioned -Adams, Vonnegut, Pratchett and Robbins- you’re especially welcome. These were the comparisons ChatGPT made, along with some comments. If that sounds like an interesting read, then you’re Totes McGoats qualified:

 

[m7600]

So, (in the voice of King of the Hill), you're a postmodern writer, @Alesia_BH? Lots of Jacques-Derrida-in-the-Deptartment-of-Literature type stuff? Or am I way off?

 

[Alesia_BH]

When asked to define the Beat Generation Allen Ginsberg said: “There is no Beat Generation: We’re just a bunch of guys trying to get published.” That would be my honest reply to anyone trying classify my approach, lol.

As for my influences, I was targeting Adams meets Robbins with a distinct voice. To my surprise, ChatGPT classified it that way more or less exactly, without any prompting from my end.

(I did study Anthropology in an infamously post-modernist department, though, so there’s that…)

 

[m7600]

You know, all joking aside, that stuff that you got from ChatGPT is really creepy.

 

[Alesia_BH]

I am super interested in what you’re working on, M7600. For whatever reason, it made me think of Brenda Shaughnessy’s Octopus Museum, which is one of my favorite poetry collections. I suppose it’s the isolated pieces with a story to be inferred. That and the implied social commentary.

 

[Alesia_BH]

You know, all joking aside, that stuff that you got from ChatGPT is really creepy.

I don’t put much stock in that. All it means is that our future machine overlords will probably excel at flattery.

 

[m7600]

Well, I suppose I probably should reference octopodes (not octopuses, not octopi) in my book. Lovecraftian Horror and all that jazz. But nah.

I haven't read that text that you mention, I'll look it up.

 

[m7600]

I don’t put much stock in that. All it means is that our future machine overlords will probably excel at flattery.

Ok, smartypants. Today is Friday the 13th. Oooh, spooky. Explain that, lol.

 

[Alesia_BH]

I haven't read that text that you mention, I'll look it up.

I’m going to pretend you can’t Google things for yourself and share a review. The structure and underlying fears seem semi-aligned with your work. I may be totally off though.

The Octopus Museum - Harvard Review

The title of The Octopus Museum, Brenda Shaughnessy’s moving fifth […]

www.harvardreview.org

 

[m7600]

I'm familiar with the trope, though not with this particular book. I'm trying to do something just a bit more avant-garde. Though that's admittedly a literary trope as well. I guess I'll just have to share a part of what I've written, otherwise we're speaking in the abstract. So, here goes some sample material:

 

[m7600]

 

[m7600]